New Years Eve's Eve - Happy Friday

It's the second last day of the New Year but I'll save the 2011 wrap up for this weekend...

Christmas this year was a momentous event as, for the first time, my new in-laws came over for the annual Wong Christmas Bonanza. Uncle B and Bree were also in attendance, and G-Bomb has reclaimed his seat at the Wong dining table, making this year the biggest Christmas feast we've ever had at the Hills household.

Christmas wasn't always such a big affair but over the last few years, JW and I have endeavored to turn it into a momentous and memorable occasion. The big beautiful 2-ft tall tree dripping with decorations, Christmas lights flashing out the front yard, fairy lights twinkling down the spiralling staircase and of course the big feast - a dining table heavy leadened with a big smoked ham, cheesy potato bake, smoked salmon, fresh prawns, oysters (this year, drizzled with Tetsuya vinaigrette), and salads galore. My in-laws also added a turkey and delicious Malaysian Cendol to the banquet this year. Deee-lish!

Then there were the presents! Everyone who comes over for Christmas gets a present. Not a random Dollar store present, but a considered, well thought out present, purchased especially for that individual. Example, MP got a Nerf sniper rifle - the perfect gift for him as, if he didn't work at a bank, he would most definitely have become combat sniper. I got a Sylvanian Families rabbit family and an ice cream cart - perfect complements to my Watermill Bakery, and the perfect gift for me as MP would have killed me if I bought any more kids toys this year.

Speaking of which, MP's cousins who are visiting from Hong Kong, come over last night for dinner with their kids, 9 year old Kaiden and 7 year old Jen Hui, and their four year old niece Anya. The kids found our toy stash before we had even the chance to offer the adults a drink. But last night confirmed what we had already known... our home is a kid's dream house. Both Kaiden and his dad spend the night driving recklessly on MP's PS3. The girls spend the night ogling over my Squinkies and then playing shop with my little Sylvanian Family characters, as my new rabbit family quickly became patrons of the Watermill Bakery and the ice cream cart.

It was a great night and it reaffirmed something to me, a thought which left me smiling.

Although I have adult responsibilities, I've still built a home and a life, that is true to me. I still have a childlike wonder and I haven't forgotten my childhood dreams.

That realisation has given me the perfect finish to the year, and I am feeling very grateful.

2011 Christmas Eve brekky

Brekky at Chatty Westfield before a battle at the Chase...

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Monday Ramblings

Christmas is only six days away. The tree us up, presents are wrapped, and the menu for the big feast has been finalised... bring on Santa Clause!

A crazy weekend just flew by filled with delicious food, gorgeous friends and my wonderful family. We hosted a dinner party on Friday night for my dear friend Trace, who flew back from Singapore for the Christmas holidays. She and Pete brought back the new edition to their family, baby Mimi, who is only two months old! You can already tell that this little half dutch/half Phillo baby is going to be one heck of a heart breaker.

A trip to visit Katty in Wyoming followed by a battle at the shopping centre to buy pressies for MP's eight nieces and nephews, left MP and I frazzled and dazed on Saturday. But we persevered, driving out to Baulkham Hills that night for friends' birthday celebrations. Then Sunday was another full day - lunch at Nina and Carls's (DIY Vietnamese rice paper rolls complete with authentic pork jerky skewers) followed by a trip out to Canley Vale for soupy beef pho. Then a visit to mum and dad's in West Penno before finally making our way home... Lest to day, It was a full on weekend.

This year has flown by in a blur and, quite frankly, I'm exhausted. Only now, as the year end nears, have I had the chance to reflect on how big this year has been... setting up our home, loss of a loved one, getting married and big opportunities at work... it's been a year of momentous events.

I am looking forward to some quiet time over Christmas/New Years to just sit back, relax and be, me. Pick up my camera again, twist and cross the bobbins of my half finished lace work, reform the crochet blister on my right hand, and head back out to the bindery. Looking forward to indulging in my frivolous pursuits. But all that will have to wait until after Christmas as there is no slowing down in the next six days! Preparations for our big family feast has already begun - honey glazed ham, oozy potato bake, refreshing prawn and mango salad... and much, much more. This year will be the first year where the in laws will be joining us, and with them comes delicious Malaysian desserts. Coconut cendol and Malaysian jellies. Yum!

Ferran Adria's Roast Chook

We bought Ferran Adria's "Family Meal" cook book a few weeks back and MP has been pouring over it. The book is fantastic. Delicious simple recipes which the El'Bulli staff cook and eat, every night before the restaurant opens. The staff at El'Bulli are Ferran's family, and these are recipes for his "Family Meals".

The wonderful thing about this book is the abundance of pictures it contains. Ingredients and methods are spelled out with photographs (The book is approximately 90% pictures), and surprisingly, the recipes are simple to follow with minimum complexity.

MP tried Ferran's roast chook last night. He also made Ferran's chickpea and spinach entree, and home made potato chips. I contributed with the salad.

 

 

The chicken was cooked to perfection, the chick peas were a meal in itself, and the home made potato chips left me licking the salt off my fingers.

Can't wait to taste what MP decides to try next.

A little bit of an epiphany

So I slept on my "hmph" and an idea came to me in the morning. I might ("might" being the operative word here) have an idea on what I want to do. With my money, with my job, with my time... basically with my life.

For those of you who have followed my corporate craftie journey to date, you would have probably seen a common theme. One, I only realised late last night when it came to me in a dream - stuffed crochet piggies, art and crafts, children's markets, sparkly Cinderella shoes... I am a ten year old girl trapped in a grown up body! (Yes, it was a weird dream). I am a big, fat kid.

It explains so much - my internal angst, my mental conflict, my lack of confidence at work (for I feel like a kid playing dress ups, clomping around in high heals, trying not to be caught out). The fact that I get along with kids better than my peers. It's like the penny finally dropped and it all suddenly makes sense!

So maybe I need to stop fighting. Stop pretending to be a know-it-all grown up. Just be me. But for my own mental sanity, I need to bridge the divide somehow. Right now being a grown up has had me depressed and unhappy, but acting like a ten year old kid is definitely not an option.

I'm thinking, maybe a career in the children's industry? A toy designer? (Oh, I'd love that!) Go back to uni to study children's psychology? (Hmm, will definitely help with raising my future kids.)  Be a preschool teacher? (Interestingly, that would be realising a psychic prediction from an old turtle shell reader my parent's visited when I was a kid... maybe you really can't fight destiny? No, that'll be depressing... this train of thought deserves a post of it's own. Mental note to self to explore this topic later.)

I do have a radical idea that I'm going to explore which I will reveal in due time.

But for now, this little epiphany is enough to give me a moment of peace.

Life and onions

Christmas is only five weeks away. I can't believe how quickly this year has flown. Earlier this week, I took a walk up to Pitt Street Mall to do a spot of window shopping. The plan being to prepare a mental shopping list so I don't do the usual two days before Christmas, shopping freak out. I was also hoping to find something to add to my own list for Santa. A new dress? A leather handbag? A new pair of shoes?

Wondering from store to store, department to department, I ended the shopping trip annoyed and confused.

This year's Summer selection of dresses were exactly what I needed to revamp my work wardrobe. The Miu Miu boho bag matched my Miu Miu wallet perfectly. A pair of mandarin loafers would have carried my feet in comfort and style all Summer... But I couldn't bring myself to buy anything. Or to really even want them. I felt the fabric of the dresses and held the bags up in the mirror, but it all felt empty. Now bear in mind, I am definitely no preacher of anti-consumerism (my apartment is a testament to that). I simply didn't want to spend my money on any of the things that a girl my age, would want to buy.

Needless to say, that lead to a pretty depressing train of mental realisations which can be summed up by the fact that I continue to do a job which I'm not passionate about, all for the money, yet none of the objects which I am meant to desire was sparking any desire within me.

So after my pathetic excuse of shopping for myself, I decided to venture to the toys department to look for a present for my little cousins... and I entered NIRVANA.

Lego boardgames! Squinkies! Zhu zhu pets! My heart was racing when I discovered the Sylvanian Family toy sets in Myer. I.e. Little animal families which were very beloved by my sister and I when we were kids.

I was an eight year girl again... an eight year old girl with a credit card! My time in Myer's toy department was bliss and I had a great time oggling at all the colourful packaging, mentally deciding which "styles" and "models" I would buy. (Gawd I wish I was talking about cars as oppose to Squinkies.)

But once again, I couldn't bring myself to buy anything. (What's wrong with me!) This time, grown up Jac kicked in. "What are you going to do with a lego robot? Where are you going to put a Sylvanian Families Doll house? Batteries are not included with this toy, do you really want to fork out an extra $10 for batteries?"

Yep, Reality struck and I left empty handed.

Being a kid sucks because you don't have the money to buy the toys you want... but being an adult also sucks because you're so practical with all your decision making!

As I walked away from the Myer Toy department, I thought about onions. We go through all the layers, all the processes and routines which make up a life time. From physically going to the store to mentally deliberating about what we're going to buy. But in the end the realization hits that you need none of those things, that "stuff" doesn't matter, and you are left with nothing. Just like an onion.

But what's left me annoyed is that if I know this fact and I've witnessed it first hand, why then, am I poo poo'ing my time away, doing things I don't love? I keep telling myself that I need to do my stinking corporate job for the money, but that's codswallop. I'd still earn money doing something I love. Just less... Well, a lot less but that's beside the point. If I know that more money is not going to buy me fulfillment, then what the heck am I doing?

Hmph.

Two and a half weeks in...

I blinked.

And here we are. Two and a half weeks since we said 'I do'. As we had already been together for so long, I didn't think anything would change... But surprinsgly, everything has changed.

From calling his mum "mum" to booking reservations at Jonahs "for my husband's birthday". The big shift has come in the realisation that we're our own little family unit now.

Just him and me.