Sunday, July 22, 2012

Being forced to stop

It's day 5. Five hellish days of THE WORKS. We're talking, fever, aches and pains, runny nose, nasty cough, shortness of breath, ear ache, mouth ulcers and, a symptom I've never really experienced before, not being able to taste anything.

Through the delirium, sweat and tears (yes, there were tears... that's how bad it got), I realised that I could have prevented this from getting so bad. There were signs. My body did try warning me, but I ignored them. Now I have no choice. I've been forced to stop.

There have been other realisations. Some irrational ("I'm a bad wife/friend/daughter/person"). Others, more productive. The biggie? My acknowledgement that I haven't been taking very good care of myself. Over the last six months, MP and I have completely fallen out of routine. We eat out most nights and I think I've drunk more booze in the last six months, than I have in my first 28 years of life. I've stopped exercising, even piking on the weekly Yoga classes which I love. All in all, I've been putting 100% effort into work but 0% effort into me. My frown lines are etching deeper day by day, and when I look in the mirror, I see a weariness where the spark use to be.

I can't do anything about it tonight, but tomorrow's a new day. There will be no work tomorrow. Tomorrow I am going to reboot.

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